Help Me to Listen

Help Me to Listen
I cried when nobody understood me
but it was I who did not understand
the pain that I was causing
the pain I could not bear.

I tried to find a reason
I tried to shift the blame-
it was I who did not listen
it was I who did not care.

There it is again-
how fond I am of using 'I',
I never think of others,
thinking it was they who sought to hurt.

I ask why I think so negatively,
why I dwell so much on my own pain,
when there are others who are ailing,
from my unwillingness to lend a hand.

I reach out my hand,
only to snatch back from the heat
the heat that comes from heaven's light,
the glare that exposes me.

The fear only gets greater,
the more unwilling I am to give,
because i cannot put aside my selfish pride,
of looking worse than Me.

I wish I can forgo Me,
there is only one truth worth holding to.
I don't want to lie to myself
I want to make Him proud of me.

09 sept 2006