You'll Be Safe Here

You'll Be Safe Here by rivermaya

Nobody knows why we're here
Could it be fate or random circumstance
At the right place at the right time
two roads intertwine
And if the unverse conspired
to meld our lives
to make us fuel and fire
Then know whereverer you will be
So too shall I be

Close your eyes dry your tears
'Cause when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight of your doubts and tears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed until we cried
At the most stupid things like we were so high
But love was all that we were on, we belong
And though the world would never understand
This unlikely union and why it stands
Someday we will be set free
Pray and believe

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes from your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight of your doubts and tears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when the world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms through the long cold night
Sleep tight
you'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe

You'll be safe
you'll be safe
You'll be safe here

Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here


hahas, the lyrics relli spoke to me, think it's the best song in their album;p

One day after the As

It was a great ONE-DAY-AFTER-As, hahaz!

Went out shopping wif my mom, think I splurged on alot of stuff, hahz!

First, went out early to bishan library to return ALL the overdue books- that 5 plus of yuan wang money down the drain, thanx alot. Met wei lian to go there, cause she was also doing research for her trip to germany, envious, when can I go overseas too!

Next, met wif my mom and we went to sakae at borders to haf sushi, mmm... had unagi sushi and beef udon, yummilishious! then went to borders, where I found alison croggon's third book, cant wait for it to come out in the lib!

Then we walked over to taka, got some coloured paper from art fren, and the purple book that i've been wanting for like- forever. It's 11 plus, a real find from the 20 plus ones i saw at borders, and much beta looking. Here starts my journey of keeping a journal! Hopefully, the impetus of a nice notebook will keep me writing, heheh;p

We went to kino after that, where i got fruits basket 21! Great, it's like finally out la, after so long...I had to get it secretly though, when my mom wasn't looking hah, or she'll surely say me again:) relli looking forward to tsubasa and holic the chuang yi version, tsubasa the cover is chao nice, wif a goth look, sakura looks so cool;p

After, we went to cd rama, and yup, I finally got the rivermaya cd that i've been lusting after for so long, and i'm uploading my ipod as i type:P

Lastly, went to j8, where we had coffee at coffee bean, and a nice blueberry cheesecake, muakz! I got a new pair of pants, it's brown btw, the only brown one I haf, and although I felt guilty about the splurge, the cut is just too nice to resist... I'll just justify myself by saying it's the first new item of clothes that I've got since i dunno when, hahas.

Okies, so that's a rundown of my day, feeling the bliss of satisfaction. Hopefully, tomolo will be as eventful, cheers!

The tears that fall from your pale,
white cheeks,
like moisture from the blue blue ocean...
taste both salty- and sweet.

Unicorn

I spied a unicorn in the glade,
its horn shining an iridescent shade,
and when it saw me creeping near,
it shed a rainbow coloured tear.

I wondered why it cried,
I wondered what it had been denied,
when such a beautiful creature to behold,
would have something so daringly withhold.

But as I stepped forth to offer my aid,
it shied away, from nothing I said,
and it was then that I knew,
it was the loneliness of knowing too few.


hahas, on reading this poem, I find that I quite like it:P I had initially thought of ending it with one stanza, but perhaps that wouldn't have done it much justice, heh. Still... EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahas, it's great that I can just start slacking for a bit, and do whatever I want. It still feels unreal though, like the 3 hr paper is actually not over. What a difference a few hrs can make in terms of mindset, haha.

great, i can now start planning what I want to do... still feel a little lost, but i'll get used to it, i suppose, haz;p Graduation wan sui!!!!!

Innocence

If I could be innocent for a day,
not engage in life's bitter fray,
watch as clouds flitter by by day,
listening to that creaking swing of yesterday.

I wonder where the mists of dawn have gone,
I wonder why time for me has torn,
all memory of fond remembrance aborne
on clouds that soft breezes with me have borne.

How nostalgic when I think of the time,
when actions were not determined by dollar and dime,
when life was more than playing a deceptive mime,
when we were not all covered with reality's pragmatic grime.

To return to the time of unknowing kindness,
when self was not served by practicing wickedness,
to know that love for love's sake was not willful blindness,
to not feel that being loved was a state of perpetual presumptiousness.

Selfish Love

My Selfish Love
drowns all protest of other
kinds of love-
it takes precedence over
your feeble attempts
to reach out,
because I am not hesitant,
because my beloved knows
my yearning mind-
a mind that seeks only
to bring joy
at other's expense.
All my actions
are Justified,
for what greater power
over passions and intellect,
is there but Love?
So love ME,
just as I LOVE YOU,
and to hell with everything else.

Already feeling lost

Am I going to start screaming at myself for changing my blogskin at this time?

Probably not, haz.

A new skin, a new beginning. Think i'm going to feel relli lost after art pp2- then everything will be OVER, and all that's left is that dreaded piece of paper that's going to decide our fates. Not very reassuring, I assure you.

O well, a whole load of nothings, and alot of sianness. Great. Life Sux, so wad's new?

IT'S OVER!!!!!!!

hahas, all except art pp 2 that is.

haiz, feeling a great sense of relief already, although, well, feeling a little lost too, like dunno wad to do... think it's going to get worse also, after pp2 especially:p

still, looking forward to freedom, and the dreadful wait for results. there's like so much to do, and so much time to do it:))) happi, sha la la

kkz, that's all for now, will jia you for the drawings, hahz!!!

Your Bloodless Lips

Estella, Estella,
beautiful and cold-
the marble rose,
epitome of perfection.

How cruel it is,
to have crimson lips,
that are bloodless
and cold?

How adominable
that scarred creation,
that condescendingly says,
'I have no heart'!

'No- sympathy- sentiment- nonsense'
that comes from the warm
beat of an impassioned
heart.

Poor Estella, Estella,
child born of ruined pride.
Developed to be bent, broken,
into a better shape, and soul.


What is real love? by Ms Havisham:
It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter- as I did!
-words of a proud, embittered old woman

cant wait, at least, for wed to be over, then all my written papers will be done! hahaz;p

as for art... well, at least i can concentrate on it beta, hahas

tomolo will be the last paper for lit- cant believe how fast everything is gg.

As for the history ppl, congrats at ur liberation.

The time will come, eventually,

for FREEDOM.

haha...

...

wad crap am i writing?

Going crazy!!!! think the whole of As is CRAZYYYYYY, haiz... but at least i'm here at last, after the horrifying econs extravagenza with onli lit and art left.... which is alot of art, i guess. Art history is going to the dogs, wonder if i'll haf time to finish studying.... haven touched great expectation, that's on tues and i have art consultation tomolo... God, save me!

O well, enuf of the whining i guess, haf to do outline for tomolo's P2 and 3 consultation, ciao....

Guidelines for Analysing a Poem:

Subject Matter
Purpose
Emotion
Craftsmanship (see SLIMS)
Summary

Craftsmanship:
Structure
Language
Imagery
Movement
Sounds

onomatopoeia: words depicting sounds
assonance: group of words wif same vowels
sonnet: a poem with strict structure and rhyme: normally 14 lines and in iambic pentameter
diction: chioce of words/vocab

Always relate to poet's Intention, Effect, Impact/Effectiveness!
+it would help also to identify and classify Imagery

Hahas, okies, enuf of the last min revisions, heh heh... been looking thru all the past notes on doing pc, hopefully, all will go well later;p i didn't know alot of the terms on the worksheets, so all these are what i've found out just now- turns out that i've been identifying all the structures blindly- no wonder there didn't seen to be any structure for my essays, since I couldn't group the literary devices as I didn't know what they were! hahaz... (sheepish smile) okies, hope for the best later, praying for clearness of mind and concentration!

Econs sucked!!!!!!

Somebody start digging my grave... if tomolo's paper is as bad, I can kiss uni goodbye... urgh...

the quality of dead, dread and all the other negative d words-- i finally know the meaning of.

Never felt so bad about an exam in my whole life.... really... couldn't even crap a reasonable length...

God, save me...

It Works Bothways

One of the saddest questions in the world
is when she asks you:
'Do you love me?'
because she does not feel
the warmth and assurance
that love unknowingly emits
to those around them.
And when you feel
a sense of exasperation
at that question that seems to entail
so much unwanted
Responsibility-
stop and ponder
the reason that she says,
"Do You Love Me",
because love binds
bothways-
she is offering her heart to you.

A little bit of Lear- and self reflections

Everytime i read King Lear again, i'm continually struck by the depth of the play, and the level of intimacy in which it explores the human condition. It is classic, timeless, because the human condition- i dare say, the essence of being human, is encompassed within a range of emotions cumulative of events that, although through time might differ, does not change so drastically as to alter human reactions.

The innate tendency to sin, the assurance of pride and its inevitable disillusionment, the vain attempts to quantify, measure, and put into order what that cannot be logically deduced, are just some of the flaws of the human condition that King Lear portrays, in a way both dramatic and ultimately soul-baring.

Although I was initially drawn by the darkness of the play, (its ending derives so much power in the pathos of despair that I was struck by it, the possibility of such tragedy due to consequence quite fascinated me-ok, morbid, i know) I found in it many redeeming qualities, like in the faithful love of Cordelia, Edgar, Kent and Cornwall's servant. The greatness of love shows itself with greater prominence with contrast to adversity, and even as the play ends in despair, there is the hope that humans can find something worth living for in this 'cold' and unyielding earth.

'Unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor, bare, forked animal as thou art. Off, off, you lendings! Come on, be true.'
The notion of being 'accommodated' is a very impactful one for me- it is true that from young we have been accommodated, by our parents, as well as people who love us. It has always struck me with wonder how people become friends- the Asian mentality, the more cold and aloof reason that I'd always held on to, was that it was only polite to be good to people, to hope to inspire a return of goodwill and a continual companion in that person. It has always filled me with gratitude at the thought of my friends- they don't have to talk with me, listen to me, esp when i'm cracking lame jokes, or just be with me. But the Western ideals seem to hold more attraction to me now- although they are more liberal in the sense that they offend people more easily, not being restrained by the bounds of propriety that Asians are (this is strictly a stereotype, i don't have any Western friends;p), they are nevertheless more true, to themselves as well as to their friends. If they do not seem to value friendships enough to keep from showing displeasure when something offends them, they are being true to their value systems and are sure of where they stand, and who they want to be with.

I guess it's up to me to find a balance. I'd always prided myself on being a tactful person, but that was in the past when I hardly spoke to people and stayed in my world of books. They can hardly shut their pages when i voice a tactless opinion regarding their contents! And so ignorance, and the fact that no one really seemed to dislike me, kept me in the dark of who I really am, which is, ahem, sadly, not a very nice and accepting character at all. In fact, I would classify being over-critical as one of my major faults any day- It's great for work but a little strained on the human relations department.

So, if I seem too overbearing at times, please forgive my ignorance and tell me to shut my mouth if you disagree (well, it'll be a bonus if u'd do it in a nice way of course), and if sometimes I irritate you by asking too many questions, humour my newfound wish to know the people ard me better, and to have deeper and more meaningful relationships than just a pat in the back or a wave when we pass;p kkz, think i'm getting lo so again, good luck to all the maths ppl, jia you for the As!

Note to Kim:P

hey kim, i cant seem to post my comments on ur blog, so gg to hail ya from here;p
here's the recent update-
Shan n yils wanna go, but it has to be next year, caue ALL of you are gg off one after the other dis dec, and i think it'll be more fun to go wif more ppl... so, i don mind gg next year;p I think i definitely prefer tai wan, hahas, i've never been there yet! it'd be so cool, just the 4 of us, heheh:))) So, yep, that shuld be all, and hope everything's gg fantastic at ur end, cant wait till u get back;p
Jia you x10000 for the exams!

Loves, cuiz

That porcelain vase

I feel
that i might explode
into a hundred thousand
broken pieces
as my head
strains
to squeeze through
the iron bars that lock
me, without escape
in that burning
room where demons
seem to gnaw everywhere-
my eyes, hands, legs, toes-
especially on the core
of my tired, weeping heart.
The bursts of flame
that might once be brilliant
are now hot with despair-
The heat,
which have once warmed
a frozen mind
numb with ignorance,
has grown to sear and
tear scars.
That smile has turned bitter,
the love neglected to resentment...
Is there nothing left;
the joy of innocence,
so carefully wrought,
and torn cruelly into shreds
like the maddened disillusionment
of an artist who knows,
of perfection never attained?

Denial

Denial

The acknowledgement of the pain
of all things in life that are in vain,
to accept that grief is part of your life,
that life is just never-ending strife.
It is too difficult to do
what that seems so inevitable to you.
It is better to reject
what is so easy to neglect-
that pain which harbours deep in our soul,
the grief that is eye-piercing to behold.
The soothing balm that relieves
a wounded heart that so desperately believes-
that there is joy worth beating for,
that the darkness will not consume its bleeding core.

GP is OVER!!!!! hahaahahhass!!!!!

ok, granted that i feel that my compo was way off... like hell, i didn't even know what i was writing can... but i'm just glad that it's over. One paper down, 8 more to go...

sheesh, talk about the long month ahead..

I guess what i can bring away from gp in jc is the interest in world events- they're really interesting to know about and to write about, once you take the initiative to find out. Being put in a position to comment about these issues is fun, even if a little intimidating, there's so much that I don't know!

Hahaz, but it's been fun, it's the next best subject aside from art and lit- i just realised that i love all my subjects except... yep, you guessed it, econs, which is like a bummer... i'm like spending my time hiding from ms poh (and my own feelings of inaptitude) and trying furiously to read up... crossing my stupid fingers and hoping that i can get at least a c... hahas.. but it's not all gg to be luck i guess, i'm gg to try my best to read up and study;p

Yep, so that's about all for today... thought paper 2 compre's summary was a killer, wanna bet i won get past 5 marks? What's it upon, anyway? Even so, glad to have taken it, glad to haf known mr tong, who's been so supportive (I need to pay him soon!!!) of all of our troubles, gp wan sui!

For the rest of the papers, best of luck, and don't let stress get you down!!!!

anyone starting to panic? If you are, u're not alone... gp tomorrow, lets JIA YOU together, mina- san!!!!!