'Only you can make my soul take flight' -Phantom of the opera

I really think that the word 'soul' is warmer than the word 'spirit'. It makes our bodies have a more 'lived-in' feel, don't you think? I wonder if there is a difference between the two words, since wikipedia defines spirit as 'The English word "spirit" comes from the Latin spiritus, meaning breath (see also Prana). In religion and spirituality, the respiration of the human being has for obvious reasons been strongly linked with the very occurrence of life.'

Soul, on the other hand, is defined as 'The soul, according to many religious and philosophical traditions, is a self aware ethereal substance particular to a unique living being. In these traditions the soul is thought to incorporate the inner essence in each living being, and to be the true basis for sentience. In distinction to spirit which may or may not be eternal, souls are usually (but not always as explained below) considered to be immortal and to pre-exist their incarnation in flesh. The concept of the soul has strong links with notions of an afterlife, but opinions may vary wildly, even within a given religion, as to what happens to the soul after death.'

Hmmm, that clears up alot of my queries, haz..

Breaking Flight

Break, heart, i prithee break,
for the light
has taken flight,
blown away by gentle wind.

31 March 2006

The quiet disturbs me

The dark corridor spans a thousand miles,
the quiet disquieting.
I peer ahead,
squint around
yet
do not see direction.
The quiet is disquieting.
I know,
I am alone.

30 March 2006

'Man is a tragic being, and the heart of this tragedy is the metaphysical problem of part and whole... For man is one, he is single, he is alone; and yet he belongs, he is part of an other. This conflict is the greatest part of our tragedies...'
-Barnett Newman

not the first time i've read something good in art history notes, though it's a trifle melodramatic, hahaz... Yet i can relate to it, and the thought has occured to me before, if not in this form. The notion of Man, or people being alone is very true. Although God made Eve from Adam, there still exist a difference between the two personalities- Eve had to persuade Adam to eat the apple. No one is perfectly made to suit the other, no matter what some romantics claim.

That is the reason that Man is alone. We are seperated by different experiences- only we go through our set of circumstances. No one else is privy to our life in its entirety, or can comprehend the way we think from our past reasons- except God. Is that why we feel the need to depend on him, because we ourselves crave the presence of a divine who can understand us? Is that not a selfish desire on Man's part, that our relationship results from our own desire to feel understood? Why does God indulge this selfish human nature, or are we made for mutual pleasure?

I really wonder what Newman's galleries will look like. Ms Hew mentioned that it was inspiring, with all the huge canvases and abstract patterns looming from all the walls... must be quite an experience. Wonder and lament why Singapore has so few awe-inspiring artworks. Or perhaps it's because i'm ignorant of the art scene in Singapore?

just talked to Mrs Ng today, and am quite relieved at the result. Emerging from the talk with new ideas and lots of new things to explore, i'm glad for the work, because i am actually doing something, which is a relief from the static guilt of not knowing what to do and not doing anything. But the impetus is time- i need more of it!

A delight in sensations

The melt of the richness

running in sweetness

the confusion of senses

all ending in joy...

CHOCOLATE!

29 March 2006

hahaz, can u guess what i'm doing while typing? Dat's right, eating chocolate!
Yep, sweet delight, guilty pleasure, all rolled in one... Wonder why i'm still so slack, going to revise some econs in awhile.
I think i've got a huge problem- i find it hard to talk to Mrs Ng! ono... how? I get so overcome by this sense of guilt about not having done enough for art, and i think i'm giving her alot of trouble over my theme cause it's so crap, haiz... she's like afraid to talk to me cause dunno wad to say for the theme...
sighs, feel so lag, but i don't seem to be able to relax... maybe dat's why i suddenly got the urge to eat chocolate- that only happens when i get stressed, but then again, it didn't happen for my tests... i'm going to use my uneasiness and channel to doing my work. Feel so hyper now, can't relax, and desperate to do something so i'll feel beta... i think i'm so extreme, like extremely weird, argh... After block tests then study, siao!
Feel like hitting my head on the wall, but noe it's not going to help, much, so better start work before i lose momentum... Jia you!

P.s. hmmm, notice i've been saying 'jia you' to spur myself on... is it a futile effort to motivate myself? (haiz, am i reduced to self-analysis now? maybe from what Faith said, the thing about what u draw reflects what you r thinking...haz)

To Crush the Fragile Wings

How soft the rush
of Butterfly wings!

How easily crushed
the fragile things.

How hot the candle flickers!
Slowly,
the butterfly lingers,
floating close unwittingly
to the light.

The brightness crumbles.
Aware,
yet unable
to draw away
from dark plight.

28 March 2006

I was on the bus today when i couldn't get the image of butterflies out of my head. I remember in Primary school when we used to catch the poor things, only to have the wings flake and crumble when we hold them. Flake and crumble- hmmm, sounds like pastry, hahaz.

Delicate things, those butterflies, so helpless against ordinary forces, and only there to be admired. For the spreading of pollen there's bees to do it- i wonder what would happen if butterflies died out. There'll certainly be alot less colour in our world, and alot less symbols for poetry, haz!

Well, a bit more about today, the makeup tests for both lit and econs are over-HURRA! but i'm quite sure i did quite badly for econs DRQ... no wonder ms poh was dat angry, i think she'll vomit blood on my paper... time management sucked today, totally didn't know that the teachers were recording time on the whiteboard- i thought they would shout it out.

Haiz, all the regrets, but luckily, most of my stress has past. I feel quite empty, quite ready to start on my revision and everything. First of all is taking all the econs lectures and go thru DRQ and MCQ! Then i'll go re-read all of my lit texts and find material for gp... Multitudes and multitudes of plans, heh... Art is another headache though, really don't feel like tackling the problem now- but the time has come, it is to submit or perish!

Come to think of it, the notion of helplessness, that of the butterfly, must have come from my subconscious dread...should review Freud's theories again- there's more to it than meets the eye. Just hope i don't start having nightmares like Dali, will DIE! Jia You!

Futile Tears

Is there time enough
to say goodbye...

even,
as water seeps
away,

straining to quench
the thirst
beneath?

Cry,
tears ignored,
only norishing that

Which has taken
one beloved,
never,

ever to be seen
again.
Cry.

Nothing to say but...

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Well, you know how they say, action speaks louder than words and everything.


This time, i concur otherwise.

In Silence they Bide...

Trisha, the priestess of Fire
In darkness she hides, unseen, from the world.
Her curse, that of the light, blinds her,
in the midst of her black despair.

The night is warm, concealing, a lover's embrace.
The light is cold, unfeeling, a cruel revelation.
That is why in darkness she dwells, waiting...

Frost, Wielder of Ice
Coldness surrounds him, shielding him from pain.
Heat of the living sears him;
Emotion- that his only enemy.

He builds his house of ice, slowly, surely,
Praying,
that the blaze will never touch him,
and burn him in Hell...

24 march 2006

Ok... i know... i'm not writing this story, mind... that's why i put it up here, so that i won't forget it... i'll probably write it after the A levels, and the plot will be more interesting than anything that i've written yet, haz!

Taking a leaf out of Atwater's book, so to speak, so i'm trying to develop the story through the characters first, instead of modelling the characters after the plot.. I think i can see the difference even now, so i believe that it will make a huge difference to the end-product if i write it in this manner.

A few random ideas- i want to model this story through the causes and effects of what religion- as shown by Trisha(as a priestess) can do to people, as well as- yep, what love does to overcome all obstacles. How society molds them to be the people that they are will also come into play- i believe that a character who symbolizes the 'freedom' of an outcast will be included.

i want to portray the kind of people who are trying to understand what they should do, as well as the true meaning of righteousness- not as a noble concept, but as how normal people live up to their own consciences and moral standards. how do you balance God and your earthly desires? I do not believe that everyone is perfect(me especially) and i'm wondering how i should reconcile that. Is it true that as long as you return to God that all your previous sins are absolved? What about the guilt that one suffers after everything?

I think why i'm suddenly writing about that is because these are questions that i've harboured for so long, suppressed. If i can write everything out, i believe that i'll feel much better, sighs... too bad that there's not enough time now...

Anyway, just to update: today the students from seameo came over for the exchange workshop, and i think they're really wonderful people. The boy that i helped was really friendly, and i do believe that he really regrets the quick departure. Such warmth and friendship from strangers, with only one shared experience that links us together! I'd probably never see him again, such is the marvel of God, for letting me meet someone so foreign that we hardly understood one another. His english wasn't very good, but i believe that we managed in the end. I felt quite touched as we shook hands repeatedly and had our group photo taken together. I really feel enriched by today's activity!

Even Block tests next week can't dampen my happiness!

The perfect Rose

Gaze
upon the epilogue of Life,

A shadow cast,
upon
the white
of the rose.

The soft
caress
leaving blemish,
where perfection once sought.

23 March2006

i'm beginning to like writing my blog,; i feel that i'm reviving my passion for writing, yea! Well, if i cant write long stories, a poem or two won't be as bad, would it?

i'm a cursed romantic, i think, courtesy to all the fantasy books that left a lasting impression on my young mind. So, as a hopeless case, i shall endeavour to question and note down some of my views, to see if i am a true romantic, or if the realities of Life have robbed me of even that...

Do i believe in true love? That's a question that i've asked, and others have put across to me. My answer is no, strike one for being a romantic.What is true love anyway, if not blind- yes, blind devotion to a single person. if you think u 'love' a person, will you not try to change yourself, no matter that the other does not require u to do so? so to what extent do you change urself? will you be happy at the end, or does true romantic love not require happiness of oneself, but ultimate sacrifice for your partner?

Although i'd love the notion of meeting a person who loves me as much as i do him, is that really possible? The chances seem quite small, unless u're both thrown on a deserted island with no one else, yeah... it's as much a throw of dice-chance, as much as anything else. Would appearances play a huge role in at least, the beginning of the attraction? It seems shallow and repulsive to judge a person by appearances, but it cannot be denied that it's the first thing people notice about you.

That accounts for the inordinate amount of good looking people in romance stories:o

And, i have to make it clear, i feel that equality should exist in the relationship, insofar as possible. The guy shouldn't do the paying all the time, though i agree with Faith saying that it'll turn out like that anyway- it's a male ego thing, haz. A sign when a girl- or me, not doing the paying would mean that she has no interest in the date(only going for the free stuff, haz) or that she's unsure of whether she likes the guy ornot, and is waiting to see if the guy will be interested enough to ask her out more to get to know each other. A sure sign of a girl paying is that she likes the guy and want's to leave both parties feeling happy(that the other is willing to go to the expense), or in the other extreme spectrum, that she wants to draw a clear line(i don't owe u anything and just walk away).

Well, at least that's some of my thoughts on the matter, though i guess people might say that a girl will let the guy do the paying if she likes him... Well, i don't suscribe to that, unless he has a sensitive ego...

Hmmm, wonder how this topic came about? Probably due to yesterday, when we were having lunch at nydc, and Faith asked me why i thought a guy shouldn't pay. We came to the conclusion that whoever initiated the date should do so, hahaz. Fair, isn't it? I drew inspiration for the above poem probably due to my search for perfection, but who knows how the mind works?

Or is there?

There IS a reason

why
the candle flickers

why
the path ends

why
the ocean's crash never ceases

Or is there?

22 march06

i'm in one of my why moods again. Everytime i ask, and expect an answer, there seems to be none.
why am i here? What am i doing? I don't know?
I've been lapsing into this state where i just ignore everything and stone. It's really bad, so unproductive. I really don't know what else i can do to lie to myself to motivate SOME action, ANY action, on my part to study. Block tests are around the corner! Every time i tell myself that i really want to start banging my head on some wall.
the last few days are a haze for me, mainly preparing for the seameo opening and not getting into the mood for studying, or doing art for that matter. Not even music helps anymore, i want to throw the ipod away whenever i on it, Argh!
I think i need mozart or some classical stuff; they're plaing it at the exhibition and i feel really comforted when i hear it. The musicians there are so professional, i'm so envious of their ability to play their instruments, especially the violin, hahaz...
i've been feeling the urge to go shopping, for like the first time in a long while. i don't think i can stand it at home anymore, i need something new! I feel that i'm really pampered in that way.. Do i deserve it? with my lousy attitude i'd think not.
Sighs, i'm really sinking into despair. What can i do???? the only thing i can think of is starting another story, but i think i'll kill myself trying to finish and study at the same time, brrr....

I want new clothes!

A blessing or a drag?

today's gp paper was quite a killer- all the questions were like so difficult. I think the teachers deliberately set all the hard questions from all the topics, makes mi shudder at the thought of going thru the rest of the subjects, lit and ECONS! haven relli touched those two.

Haiz, feel so depressed, it's like all the stress is piling in. I wanted to put all thoughts behind and study first, but my dad keeps asking mi to look out for the uni courses. I'm like, pls lo, if i cant pass my As then don even think of gg to uni!

But maybe he needs time to plan out ba. If i'm taking an art course it's gg to be a hell of alot of money, and i feel guilty enough using so much money now. Checking out all the courses overseas though, if we were rich, i don't mind going out for a look, hahaz.

i'm realising that it's my last few months to make a difference(about time too!). It's been weighing on my mind- i relli want to do better than my bro(who doesn't?) cause i don't think i'll merit a scholarship otherwise, and that's the only way i can go overseas without feeling that i've added an additional burden on my parents. The possibility that i might not do well enough to get anywhere is driving me insane. I relli want to take things one at a time, but i realise that no one's going to wait for mi, especially not a levels.

Am i worrying too much? looking at what i'm writing, i feel a sense of detachment, like i'm not really feeling anything, but i'm trying my best to throw the panic out of the window- it's not going to help much, that i noe.

I feel so useless, and i'm doing useless stuff to run away from my problems, like not going to church and reading storybooks which are- yep, not in my syllabus. I relli don't feel like doing things that i hate, or feel uncomfortable with, like pretending i have a life at church, or pretending that i have something to talk about to the people there. They don't understand me, or seem to want to. Perhaps that's not doing them justice, since i don't go out of my way to initiate much conversations. Maybe they're intimidated by me, i don't know, or feel that it's hard to talk to me. I feel that i'm being judged for everything that i say there, like not being a good enough Christian or that i'm deviating from the faith.

I relli admire wei lian, she's relli firm about what she wants and does with regards to God. I feel sometimes that i would like not to be a christian, to throw away all the obligations and troubles, but i noe it's not just about me. It's about God too, and i don't think i can survive without Him. They're right i guess; once u know God, the bond is forever, and i'm grateful for that. I noe that God will not forget me no matter how bad i am, and i'm trying to live up to that.

That's why i got baptized i think, because i want, no- need to do something for God to show how much His presence in my life means to me. But the pressure is really great- i spend my time avoiding people at church (i'm such an introvert la) so as not to endure awkward moments when there's nothing to say. I do badly with impromptu talk- i need to have a close relationship with someone before i feel safe enough to talk from my heart, and nobody in church can or is willing to do that for me.

Haiz, so depressing. i finally realised after i spewed everything out that i really feel this way all along. Before this everything was just a lump of emotion, but now everthings out- so wad am i gg to do about it? Nothing i guess, unless stress makes mi explode or something. I'm really trying very hard for this blog test- if something goes wrong i'll be relli sad, haix...

So far it's been postponed cause of the seameo exhibition, so i'll have more time to study and everything. hopefully it'll be enough, but i dunno. is it a blessing or a drag to have all the tests later?

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could

Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?

Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try

No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye

It's one of my favourite songs in the phamtom, it's dark and the atmosphere evoked is so romantic.
I particularly like the fourth stanza, with the imagery of sculpted angels being cold and monumental. The scene in the show was really apt, with the setting of the sculptures in a matt grey tone covered inh white frost and snow(fake of course).
Well, having seen phantom a few times, i think this blog has to endure a few times more of my rantings about it, hahaz

Ok, i've definitely decided- i'm like so not constant with my updates! It's beginning to be like once in two days!

had the cluster activity with the primary school ikds yesterday- not a bad activity with chalk art at all, even got to try out some parts on our own, ha. Although our group didn't win anything, i'm quite certain that the kids had a good time.

After that, we went to Macdonalds to eat and then to newtown sec for the seameo briefing. With luck, i'll be a normal docent and won haf to emcee for anything, haha. the only bad thing is that we have so many artworks(some of them foreign) to remember and crap about, which is quite difficult.

As for today, just went to this Indian restaurant for lunch, which is quite cool cause we have so little exposure to food of other cultures. Aside from a rather unpleasant surprise with the tea(I'm quite certain that cinammon belongs safely out of a cup, thank you very much), everything else was quite delicious, like the curry fish head, Yea!

hahaz, isn't this the first journal-like entry that i've put up?

A Squid's Tale

Let darkness consume me
For then I feel safe.
Alone in the deepest depths
Of Despair
Where no one can find me.

I know pain will not seek me
When I sink into
the cool embrace
Of watery graves
Hidden in delusions.

13 March 06

-a rather whimsical title for so heavy an emotion, don ya think?

Poem from dragonsinger

The tears I feel today
I'll wait to shed tomorrow.
Though I'll not sleep this night
Nor find surcease from sorrow.
My eyes must keep their sight:
I dare not be tear-blinded,
I must be free to talk
Not choked with grief, clear-minded,
My mouth cannot betray
The anguish that I know.
Yes, I'll keep my tears till later:
But my grief will never go.

yep, back to penchant for sad stuff, hahaz. I just watched Phantom of the Opera again today, relli fell in love with it all over. It's like the best movie/ musical i've ever seen, probably cause it's like the only goth-romance flick i've seen, haz... The music's relli cool though, the wow kind, and Christine's voice and range is like- impossible!

On a more sombre note, I've finished the art history test, relli horrible la. Even the bus was making sport of us, then mi n wei lian were like 5 mins late, feel relli bad cause it was i who was late, then wei lian had to wait for mi. The red lights were relli hardworking today too, so was relli pissed, haiz...

Though we did spot most of the questions, that ms hew would pick mondrian, ms lye surrealism(she was relli adamant abt finishing the lecture) and mrs ng cubism(that one was tyco cause futurism was a bore). But still think that performance was a little lack-lustre, so feeling quite depressed. One thing good about this test was- i relli love Magritte! His use of conflicting imagery rox! I'm so tempted to incorporate it into my coursework, though i'm afraid i won't be able to do as well as he did. But the idea is too tempting to resist, so i'll just have to JIA YOU!!!

O well, there's still Great Expectations to complete. I'm relli wrecking my brain about lit though, how do i write to 'hit' the point? I seem to be beating round and round the bush, Argh!

Block tests are just ard the corner, what am i doing??? Hahaz, just have to persevere, HA!

Drowning in Art History!

i'm at vanessa's hse now, piaing for art history, so tong ku! just came from woodlands library where i studied wif shi wei, wonder if she's gotten that haircut by now?

noticed that i haven't updated my blog for a few days, hope i wont continue deteoriating in this respect. Just reading Dali, he's relli one sick guy. feeling relli tired now, my mom just abandoned mi and gone for tea wif dad, again. O well, guess it's a stern reminder to get back to work.

Speaking of which, will not indulge too long here, jia you n wish mi luck!

Story Planning

is it wednesday again? hmmm, it's just after art club where we did dat clay and white plaster thingey. wanted to do a pattern of water, n it turned out quite horrible- to make and to remove. oya, it's also cca bazaar today, but we din take part cause we were stuck doing that seameo thing..
I wonder howz everything, cause it sounded relli loud from the art room, n fun;p
think depression relli is setting in... it seems that getting started on revision is such a chore. I never relli liked the com, but i seem to do most of my stuff here now, including writing this blog, so it shows at least some of my boredom, haiz...
i've been reading back about some of my stories, and one of them popped out particularly at me, like a figurative flower on manure amongst all the rest, hahaz... I relli feel like re-writing it leh, but don think it's time yet, so shall take solace in noting down what i do want to write... Maybe i should take Rhodes' advice and relli plan out my characters first, so they don't seem all the same, as wei han has pointed out, hahs.

The one that i completed(the plot that i liked the best anyway) was done quite a few years back.
Twin sisters, Sharla and Ryl, are caught in the ongoing war between magical creatures of Light and Dark. From a more enlightened perspective(i do think that my thinking has matured after reading that unsightly script) i conclude that the character and the nature of the situation (surroundings) were SERIOUSLY under-developed.

It seems that there's much more to racial conflicts than what my younger self perceived.

I've been relli tempted to chuck this script back a few more years, and finish it after uni, but i think i still like it enough to plan about it now.

Races depicted in the story:
Humans(since this is the first installment, i guess i should put them on a more equal footing, so the protagonists are witches;p, with their own individual powers): Sharla and Ryl
Elves(Light): have the power over wood and fire
Banshees(Light): have power of divination and wind, guardians of Life
Vampires(Dark): have enhanced physical prowess and have the potential of mastery of 'Void'
Mermaids(Neutral): live in Clans and are not united, although powerful as individuals. Are joined by religion, common allegiance to Sea god. have the ability to travel through water, and by use of the Blue pearls(in care of High Priestesses), can control sea currents
Dragons(Neutral): most powerful of all the races, hold themselves aloof and distant. Well-spring of knowledge
Shapeshifter(Neutral-closer to the dark): Private feud with Mermaids

hahaz, that's about all for now, will continue to add to the list!

2 more poems!

My nightly craft is winged in white;
A dragon of night-dark sea.
Swiftborn, dreambound and rudderless;
Her captain and crew are me.
I sail a hundred sleeping tides
Where no seaman's ever been
And only my white-winged craft and I
Know the marvels we have seen.

Dragonsinger, by Anne McCaffrey

heys, think my blog looks like a place to post poems, hahaz, but i never knew how many poems i come across in a day, and how apt i am to like them, then put them out of my mind. Think i still love sad poems the best though; they seem to touch some part of me, like a resonance through my soul...

here's another one though, no reference to ya, Faith!

The Dead Faith
She made a little shadow-hidden grave
The day Faith died;
Therein she laid it, heard the clod's sick fall,
And smiled aside-
"If less I ask," tear-blind, she mocked, "I may
Be less denied."

She set a rose to blossom in her hair,
The day Faith died-
"Now glad," she said, "and free at last, I go,
And life is wide."
But through long nights she stared into the dark,
And knew she lied.

Fannie Heaslip Lea

I was re-reading this in Midnight Predator and almost felt tears in my eyes, hahas... wonder if my imagination's too crazy, but i could actually see the scene at the graveyard on a white winter's day, complete with the poet and a hatchet and the fresh covered earth. Of course, i find it hard to situate this in our tropical singapore, so i guess it's gonna be in a quiet deserted area in the West.
I find the part about lying to oneself heart-wrenching probably because we do it to ourselves so much that we don't see it anymore- like me telling myself i still have alot of time to study for the coming test, or death on paper, as i always think. I think self-delusion is one of my current moods, wonder where my usual stress over my studies went? Probably lost with the tediousness of coursework, haiz... wonder if i'm going to get killed over my lack of constructive ideas.
Well, still experimenting with the iron filings, hope it'll work out...
Gotta go start on art hist, so that's all for now.

P.s. i relli feel that a blog is essentially talking to myself. Wonder if that's healthy??? hahas

Alone

heard that i've gotta keep my blog constantly updated, so here goes...
read Demon in my View again, and totally fell in love with the poem in front.
Amelia Rhodes relli noes how to pick her poems!

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were- i have not seen
As others saw- I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow- I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone-
And all I lov'd- I lov'd alone-
Then- in my childhood- in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still-
From the torrent, or the fountain-
From the red cliff of the mountain-
From the sun that round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold-
From the lighting of the sky
As it pass'd me flying by-
From the thunder, and the storm-
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view-

Edgar Allan Poe

hahaz, i love this poem man, rox;p don't u think that the nostalgic tone that's emphasized by the slowing rhythm really striking?
i noticed that the one by Robrt Frost also mentioned the colour gold, so is it just a coincidence?
haiz, although read a book but haven started studying for blog tests, feeling so dead... art oso haven touch, just went to wash photos, haiz.. Pray that God will guide mi thru tomolo safely, Gambate kudasai!

first post

kkz, it's my first posting, so hahaz, not much to say... onli hope that it will continue to be updated! hahaz.. i can think of a poem that i wanna add in now, so here goes...

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost

hmmm, one of my fav poems, so hope u'll enjoy!