Must there be a Reason?

There are philosophers contemplating the cosmos,
the devout who follow into faith.
There are scientists who analyze evolution,
there are idle people like me who're too busy searching for a purpose.

But I suppose that in one thing we are alike,
that is that ignorance of the meaning of Life.

Some people think they've got it,
most people don't.

Perhaps when we've realised that there doesn't need to be a purpose,
it is already too late to begin living.

My life is weird, or perhaps, normal for the average modern person.

I start out in life unthinking,
my actions dictated by the expectations of others.
Parents, teachers, friends, relatives... yes, and even God.
I begin, after some time, like all teenagers, to search for self-identity.

What am I guided by?
The morals that I have been brought up on?
Or the rejection of all the rules forced upon me?

I grow sick and tired,
because I cannot find the reason that I am alive,
that mindless plodding of mind and muscle.

But what if there does not need a reason,
to prove my existence?

Is it a crime to simply exist?
Must there be a noble reason to justify my right to breathe air and take up space?

Or am I searching for some lofty ideal to satisfy that I am worth living,
that I am needed, mourned for when I pass away?

Do I have a right to enjoy the joy of living,
when selfish and reluctant I am to assert my value?