The quiet disturbs me

The dark corridor spans a thousand miles,
the quiet disquieting.
I peer ahead,
squint around
yet
do not see direction.
The quiet is disquieting.
I know,
I am alone.

30 March 2006

'Man is a tragic being, and the heart of this tragedy is the metaphysical problem of part and whole... For man is one, he is single, he is alone; and yet he belongs, he is part of an other. This conflict is the greatest part of our tragedies...'
-Barnett Newman

not the first time i've read something good in art history notes, though it's a trifle melodramatic, hahaz... Yet i can relate to it, and the thought has occured to me before, if not in this form. The notion of Man, or people being alone is very true. Although God made Eve from Adam, there still exist a difference between the two personalities- Eve had to persuade Adam to eat the apple. No one is perfectly made to suit the other, no matter what some romantics claim.

That is the reason that Man is alone. We are seperated by different experiences- only we go through our set of circumstances. No one else is privy to our life in its entirety, or can comprehend the way we think from our past reasons- except God. Is that why we feel the need to depend on him, because we ourselves crave the presence of a divine who can understand us? Is that not a selfish desire on Man's part, that our relationship results from our own desire to feel understood? Why does God indulge this selfish human nature, or are we made for mutual pleasure?

I really wonder what Newman's galleries will look like. Ms Hew mentioned that it was inspiring, with all the huge canvases and abstract patterns looming from all the walls... must be quite an experience. Wonder and lament why Singapore has so few awe-inspiring artworks. Or perhaps it's because i'm ignorant of the art scene in Singapore?

just talked to Mrs Ng today, and am quite relieved at the result. Emerging from the talk with new ideas and lots of new things to explore, i'm glad for the work, because i am actually doing something, which is a relief from the static guilt of not knowing what to do and not doing anything. But the impetus is time- i need more of it!