Or is there?

There IS a reason

why
the candle flickers

why
the path ends

why
the ocean's crash never ceases

Or is there?

22 march06

i'm in one of my why moods again. Everytime i ask, and expect an answer, there seems to be none.
why am i here? What am i doing? I don't know?
I've been lapsing into this state where i just ignore everything and stone. It's really bad, so unproductive. I really don't know what else i can do to lie to myself to motivate SOME action, ANY action, on my part to study. Block tests are around the corner! Every time i tell myself that i really want to start banging my head on some wall.
the last few days are a haze for me, mainly preparing for the seameo opening and not getting into the mood for studying, or doing art for that matter. Not even music helps anymore, i want to throw the ipod away whenever i on it, Argh!
I think i need mozart or some classical stuff; they're plaing it at the exhibition and i feel really comforted when i hear it. The musicians there are so professional, i'm so envious of their ability to play their instruments, especially the violin, hahaz...
i've been feeling the urge to go shopping, for like the first time in a long while. i don't think i can stand it at home anymore, i need something new! I feel that i'm really pampered in that way.. Do i deserve it? with my lousy attitude i'd think not.
Sighs, i'm really sinking into despair. What can i do???? the only thing i can think of is starting another story, but i think i'll kill myself trying to finish and study at the same time, brrr....

I want new clothes!