Love, or Hate

I have loved you
till I hated you.

I hated that
you did not notice.

I hated that
you did not care.

I hated that
I loved enough,

To hate
that which is innocent.

12 May 06

Thought of that when i was reading a romance comic. I remembered that I had a crush on this guy before, though I've forgotten who he is(really, no kidding). It was like eons ago when i was still very affected by the fantasy stories that i read depicting happy endings and everything.

But what really stayed in my mind after that long and unrequited event was that it eventually became an emotion that i did not like. It was as if someone had to take the blame for that frustration, and it was always the other party, if not myself. In terms of self-accusation and hurt.

So it made me think, in terms of what dramas always say, that cliched line about there being only a thin line between love and hate. Is love really that pretty an emotion? The answer that i gave myself was- yes, only if you don't expect anything in return, which you almost always do. There are certain expectations, or desires, in the way you want things to turn out. And if it doesn't, that love turns into something ugly.

That's why i think people shouldn't fall in love until they can realise that love is not something that you can attach expectations to. No matter what anyone else assures you of.